Beer Ball

We went to Carolina Cup this year and had a blast. Great weather, tons of beer, and Bojangles fried chicken. Everything a thinking drinking individual needs to have a good time. Plus, I learned a new game, Beer Ball, and it is awesome.

We were parked next to a bunch of guys from Carolina, bad luck, I know, but do not hold it against them cause they were a lot of fun and they are the sole reason I have furthered my drinking game knowledge.. The two outstanding gentleman that happened to be professionals in the sport of Beer Ball where Mr. Brazell and Mr. Culbertson, and let me tell you, they are the true culmination of Thinking Drinking Men.

The game is Beer Ball. I have never heard of it until I saw these guys playing and naturally I had to ask. Within minutes, my cousin and I were taking on Brazell and Culbertson in what is now one of my favorite drinking games. I am going to do my best to describe it. There are two two-man teams, one at each end of the table, and four full beers, one in each corner of the table. The object of the game is for your team to drink their beer's first. In order to drink, you must hit the opposing teams beer can with the ping pong ball. Once you strike the can with the beer pong ball, you drink as fast as you can until they can track down the ball and place it back on the table.

There are no rules on how the ball gets back to the table. The quickest way, in my experience which is all of two games, is to send one teammate after the ball, while the other waits at the table. Once the ball is found, you throw it to your teammate, assuming you are not to hammered to throw a ping pong ball. That is the beauty of this game, like most drinking games, you can get really drunk, yet stay active, calorie burner, everybody is happy. Also, depending on how thirsty you are, the game could possible never end, leaving you very satisfied. If a beer is getting low, and is knocked off the table by a throw from the opponent, that beer must be replaced with a full beer. Once one teammate finishes their beer, they are not out of the game. They still get to throw, they just do not have to drink.

To wrap it up, Beer Ball is a great drinking game. It requires some skill, it is very active, and you get really drunk. My thanks to Brazell and Culbertson.

Beer Rating: Redhook ESB

We had seven Wise Men and five Wise Women present to taste the Redhook ESB Spring Ale. It has a beautiful amber color and looks and smells like a heavier ale, but everyone felt that it was very drinkable. When comparing it to other beers, it essentially stood alone and all the Wise Men and Wise Women felt that this is a very unique beer. All the Wise Men, reverting to their carnivorous roots, felt that this beer would go great with any game and most meats. The Wise Women, who are less likely to be found in the woods sitting in a tree, covered in paint, and holding a gun, felt that this beer would be great with smokey flavored cheese's. All in all, the ESB is another great beer by the Redhook Brewery and I highly recommend it and after every new Redhook beer I try, I am truly starting to believe their "Liquid Goodness since 1892" quote at the bottom of each bottle.

The Perfect Tailgatting Companion for the Thinking Drinking Individual

The Clemson VS. Carolina baseball game was last Friday, and like always, I got together with a bunch of friends and we had a big time. Lots of beer, good food, great music, and the sunny 65 degree weather wasn't too bad either. I was probably four or five Redhook Ale's deep when one of my buddies girlfriends showed up with her dog Caroline, a back lab. I am a huge dog fan. I have three at home. However, I hate seeing dogs dressed up in tutus, sweaters, and rain jackets. If you have a dog that requires such accessories to survive in the oh so difficult life of padded beds, bacon strips, and fresh tuna for lunch, then you do not have a dog at all. You essentially have a "thing" with four legs, that probably yips and looks more suitable to be punted then petted. With this being said, I have come across the one dog accessory that every dog needs and that every dog owner, who has a dog, that actually is a dog, needs to get for their dog. It is the Bud Light Tailgate Approved "Tailgate Companion". Up until a month ago, I was unaware that you could actually buy the Tailgate approved merchandise until I was a bar downtown, TD's in Clemson, and Bud Light was having a promo night and giving away free stuff. At that time, I only knew of the Bud Light Grooler and the Bud Light Foozie. I did not they had a Bud Light" Tailgate Companion" or Dallas, my dog, would be the first one to sport such a stylish and ingenious outfit.

The Tailgate Companion is essentially a jacket that velcro's below the dogs neck and around the dogs waist. It is very sturdy and as long as you have not had to many PJ's and you put it on right, it fits very comfortable around the dog. And did I mention that it can hold up to eight beers. That is the magical part. One minute, I was stuffing my face with chicken, the next, I had what looked like a mini blue and back tank strapped down with eight beers rubbing up against my leg. Why yes, Caroline, as a matter of fact I do need another beer.

I recommend that if you have a dog, and you like to drink beer, you have got to check this thing out. It is perfect for any tailgating event and it is one hell of a conversation starter. So outfit yourself with Thinking Drinking Man merchandise, outfit your dog with the Bud Light "Tailgate Companion", and you have everything you need to have a good time.

The Gamecock

We had 4 Thinking Drinking Men and 5 Thinking Drinking Women participate in rating the “Gamecock”. There was lots of opposition before we even started, and since our blood runneth orange, it was only natural to cringe at the thought of something called the Gamecock, but after the first sip, even the most cynical of participants were in love. The drink has a very fruity flavor, and you can instantly taste the lemon/lime and cranberry flavors. What makes it so enjoyable is that there is not a hint of vodka to be found. It was compared to drinks like the “Wet Panty” and “Pink Panty Pull downs”, and one of Thinking Drinking Women went as far as to say it reminded her of one wild night in Cancun. Enough said. It was unanimous that the “Gamecock” is a summer time drink and would go well with any fruit. Almost all the participants said they would easily enjoy two to three drinks per sitting and would be willing to pay $4.00 to $5.00 at a bar. Even the Thinking Drinking Men enjoyed the “Gamecock”. One of the Thinking Drinking Men, who stands 6’3”, weighs in at 264 lbs, and can be found behind the wheel of large farming equipment was instantly infatuated with the mini umbrellas and wanted nothing more than to sit poolside and sip on his fruity delight. Not to often will you find a guy, clothed in a farmers tan and rocking sandals with socks, sitting by a pool, twirling a mini umbrella and drinking a fruity vodka concoction. This drink has lots of potential. By mid summer, we may see every man, even those oozing testosterone out of their huge, bulging muscles, drinking the Gamecock.

Recipe

1 Can frozen limeade concentrate
1 can frozen lemonade concentrate
30 oz cranberry juice
4 cups Vodka

( Serves 20 )

Prepare 12 oz. lemonade and limeade according to package directions. Mix together, add cranberry juice and vodka. Stir in 6 OZ frozen limeade. Serve immediately.

Beer Rating: Shock Top

We had six wise men and four wise women present to taste Shock Top. Everyone could instantly taste the orange/citrus flavors and it was compared to Blue Moon, Summer Hummer, and Bud Light Wheat. The Wise Men, turning to their carnivorous roots, felt Shock Top would be perfect with food like burgers and wings. One Wise Man went as far as to say it would be delicious with a BLT sandwich on wheat. I can honestly say that I have never had a BLT sandwich on wheat, but I am sure it is good, and apparently would be even better with a Shock Top there to cleanse your pallet. The Wise Women preferred fruits, salads, and other finger foods to go along with their Shock Top. It was unanimous that this is a spring or summer time brew and that the Mohawk rocking orange peel belongs in the sand somewhere on a beautiful beach. Considering it was snowing outside when we had our tasting, summer time is a little ways off, but for those several glorious seconds with Shock Top on my tongue I felt I was on the beach, maybe Cabo, sitting under an umbrella socking up the rays. It was a good feeling, and I sure could use a tan.

Beer & Barbecue: Henry's SmokeHouse

Today was the first of many Thinking Drinking Man Barbecue Tours. We are trying to keep our travel time to within an hour, and Henry’s Smokehouse in Greenville, SC was only 45 minutes away. They have three locations, and we ended up at the their Woodruff road restaurant. Despite being located in a shopping center, the inside was put together really well and gave you the southern barbecue feel. All the furniture was oak, as was the cashier's counter and backdrop. There were also plenty of Marilyn Monroe, James Dean, and Elvis posters lining the walls, adding to the atmosphere. They carry all the traditional barbecue favorites, and I went with the pulled pork plate that came complete with beans, slaw, and bread. I got a sweet tea to drink, sadly they do not offer any beer, and after taxes, my meal came to 8.05, very reasonable. The pulled pork was good. It had a strong smoky flavor to it and it came out really moist, and with a little of their homemade red sauce, it gave it a real good kick. The beans were also really good. After a few bites, I was really craving a Budweiser or Shiner Bock. A real good, heavy American beer would go really well with the pulled pork. The bread was just like any normal white bread, but the slaw on the other hand was mediocre at best. I would suggest substituting it for something else on the menu. On a scale of 1 to 10, I would give Henry’s Smokehouse a 6.5. It was good food, worth the price, but did not blow me away. Despite the fact that they did not serve beer, it is located next to a liquor store, which partly makes up for it!

Check them out at:
http://www.henryssmokehouse.com/

The Thinking Drinking Man Goes Hiking

I picked the car up from Budget at about 1:00 pm in the afternoon, 4 hours later than I wanted too because I woke up feeling like death because I was still under the weather, so I ended up sleeping in. I picked up Brooks, Justin, and Summer, and we headed out of Adelaide to the Outback. I drove out of the city, and then let Brooks drive because the drugs were kicking in and within moments I was passed out in the car. It was the good kind of car sleep. I mean, the kind of sleep where you close you eyes, then open them and you are there. My face was plastered up against the window, my mouth was open, and I am sure that I was drooling. Considering that we were in a Toyota Yaris, which is roughly the size of my desk, I was amazingly comfortable all squished up in my seat.

By the time we got to what is considered the Outback, which took about 5 hours, I was wide awake and enjoying the scenery. It was absolutely beautiful. It was dusk and the colors were amazing. Purples, reds, and blues filled the sky and the setting sun seemed to dance across the mountains in the distance. It was truly surreal. In certain areas, it was so flat that you could see for miles and one side would be a vibrant green with vegetation everywhere, and the other was the famous red earth that everyone associates with the outback. Since it was so flat, over time Mother Nature had carved rivers every few kilometers as natural run offs for rain, and instead of having to build a lot of bridges; they just let the road just slowly dip down into the river. When you came to these crossings, you could look both ways and see the dry riverbeds. The signs would say “Flood Path Ahead” and “Cross at Own Risk”. In other words, if it started raining, those areas of the highway that dipped down would turn into a ragging river, and because our Yaris has the ground clearance of a three year olds tricycle, we would be stuck having to wait it out.

We were about an hour away from Wilpena Pound, when we started seeing sheep everywhere. There were no fences on the side of the road and we passed a sign that said “Free Range Grazing Next 10 Kilometers”. There were sheep just running across the road. Then all of a sudden “Bam!” I felt something hit the front of the car and I saw a cloud of vibrant colors and just as soon as it happened it was over. Brooks was doing about 120 kilometers an hour, which was the speed limit, and the event scared the hell out of him. I thought we hit a sheep. A red, purple, and yellow sheep. We are in the Outback, you never know.

We immediately stopped the car and I got out to check the front bumper. There was no dent, so either this sheep was nothing bur fur, or we hit something else. “A bloody Parrot” shouted Brooks. He was about 100 yards behind the car on one knee looking at the ground. There was a mass of feathers scattered about and the remains of a parrot. I kind of felt bad. Parrots are cool. If it was sheep, I would not have given a damn. Sheep seem to be pretty stupid. But a parrot, that is a beautiful bird. It is kind of like hitting a dolphin in a boat. No one wants to hurt Flipper. Brooks and I gathered up the Parrot, or at least what we could, and we dug him a little hole on the side of the road. Justin didn’t care. He was drinking beer and attempting to catch and ride a sheep. He has this weird love for sheep. Summer hadn’t even gotten out of the car. Brooks and I covered the hole with some rocks, wished the Parrot a good journey to bird heaven or wherever parrots go when they die, then we got back in the car and headed to Wilpena Pound.

We arrived at the resort around 8:30 that night. I was getting hungry and decided to make my way to the restaurant. I took one glance at the specials and I saw the "Australian Burger" . I swear I heard music from the angels of heaven and a bright ray of sunshine came down and illuminated the cheap plastic board that was displaying the specials. I had to have it. An hour and a half later and at least three pounds heavier I was the happiest person in the world. I was full, sleepy, and it started to rain. Bed time.

The next day we got up at about 8:00 am in the morning; I had really been up since 6:00 am because of the rain. I made my way into the restaurant at the Wilpena Pound Resort and got a good hardy breakfast and hydrated myself for the adventure I was about to embark on. We were hiking Saint Mary’s Peak today. Everyone at the park advised us against it because it was raining and could become dangerous, but we had driven all the way here mainly to hike Saint Mary’s, so we were doing it come hell or high water. High water did us in. There are two routes to the top, the easy route which takes you through the middle of Wilpena Pound and gradually up the mountain, 13.4 k’s, and the hard route which takes you right up the side of the mountain, 7.4 k’s. We are manly men; we are doing the hard route. We made it about 2 k’s when it started to pour down rain. Summer had had enough and took the keys and headed back. Justin, Brooks and I trekked on.

Everyone stressed the point that it was a pretty strenuous hike and when wet, it can be dangerous. Holy Hell. At points, I was literally climbing vertically up a rock face. I was in my New Balances, not quite hiking shoes, and by blue jeans were so wet that they were constricting my movements, not to mention rubbing in areas that are truly uncomfortable. Thankfully, it was really cloudy so I had no concept of how high I was, in a way masking the danger of hiking a mountain in the cold rain without the proper gear with thousand foot vertical drops off one side. It took us about 3 full hours to get to the top, and we spent maybe 10 minutes there at most. I have never been to Mount Everest, but I know it has to be really cold and windy. The peak of Saint Mary’s was colder than hell, more so because I was soaked, and at times there may have been 40+ mph gusts. There was 20 feet of visibility at most and all you could see in all directions was whiteness from the clouds and mist.

We were all miserable and it was unanimous to get off the top of the mountain and head back down. We ended up getting lost several times due to poor visibility and somehow we ended up taking the long route back. It was far easier, but that was quickly counterbalanced by the issue I had “down below”. I had already started the stiff man bow-legged walk as I like to call it. I was taking smaller strides because my feet were so far apart and I tried to keep from bending my knees to keep my jeans from rubbing. I continued this for about two hours and when I saw a sign that said 7.4 kilometers to Wilpena Pound Resort, I realized that I was going to be a hurting puppy later that night if I didn’t do something quick. I had the answer. It was a lot warmer once off the mountain, the rain had stopped, and the wind had calmed down a lot, so I just took of my pants.

We showed up at the park at about 4:45 pm looking like wet dogs, covered in mud, and I was in wearing my pink Tommy Hilfiger boxers, a rain coat, and my now brown New Balances. I did not care. All I wanted was a Coke and a hot shower. One hell of a day.

Thinking Drinking Man Lessons

1. Never turn down the Australian burger.
2. When hiking, make sure to wear comfortable clothes because if you get lost and end up walking half way around the world, you do not want a rash